No matter, What, When or where you are in life—whether you are just stepping into adulthood, bright-eyed and ready to build your future, or you’re a bit older, wiser, and have lived through the heartaches that life inevitably brings—today, I’m talking about something timeless: Love.
Love, for many, is the hardest journey you will ever embark on. Whether you’re finding someone to spend your life with for the first time or giving your heart another chance after it’s been bruised, it’s always a challenge. But let me ask you—are you really ready for that love? Or are you clinging to the past, haunted by past mistakes, past heartbreaks, and insecurities?
Today, i’m not just going to talk about love. We’re going to talk about how to move past those insecurities, find the greatness within, and become whole individuals. Because here’s the truth: To build a true, lasting love, you have to be whole, and your partner must be whole also. That’s the only way to create a relationship that’s strong enough to withstand the storms life throws at us.
So, how do we get there? How do we find that wholeness within ourselves? How do we make better decisions when it comes to love?
Intentional Living: What Do You Really Want?
First things first—you have to know what you want. And I’m not talking about the surface-level stuff. Nobody wants a booger bear. Sure, we all want someone who looks good, someone educated, someone with financial stability. But I challenge you to go deeper. What do you truly want in a partner? What kind of love do you want to build?
Can you see it? You lived your life and had disappointments, so it’s easy. You already know what you don’t want. Let’s sit down and think about the things that you do on. Do they have integrity? Do they stick to their word?
Do they treat you with respect? Do they make you a priority? Are they kind to you? Do they look at you with eyes of love? Are they reliable? Do they want to work with you when problems arise? Are they clean, does that matter to you if they’re a clean or neat person or not? How is there credit? Are they slow to anger and judgment?
More importantly, are you the type of person that you’re looking for? Have you looked in the mirror Are you an asset in someone’s life, or are you just hiding behind a version of yourself that doesn’t truly represent who you are? We all know that beautiful people can be ugly inside and needs attention. So, we have to be honest with ourselves first and foremost.
Ask yourself—am I living as my true self? Or am I putting on a mask, hoping that will be enough to attract someone, only for them to leave once they see the real me? Leave your representative behind. There is only one of you in all the world so just be yourself. It’s much easier. The world doesn’t need another fake person. What it needs is You to be you. So introduce yourself to the world. We are ready for you.
We can’t expect real love if we don’t show up as our real person.
The Decision Process: Being Intentional About Love
I want to speak to those of you who have loved and lost, especially those in middle age. By now, you’ve learned what doesn’t work. You know the pain of picking the wrong partner, the heartbreak of trusting someone who wasn’t right for you. But now, you have a second chance. And here’s the beautiful part: When you know what you don’t want, it becomes so much easier to focus on what you do want.
It’s time to start structuring your life around that. Be around the people, places, and experiences that feed your soul, not drain it. Don’t settle for energy vampires. Surround yourself with what aligns with your values and passions. This is how you create the conditions for true love to enter your life. No more wasted seasons. How much time do you think you have? Life is short and if you’re not careful, you just might miss it.
Remember, choosing love is a choice, just like anything else. So, when you choose someone, choose wisely. Is this a person you can grow with? Someone who loves you, even when times get tough? Or are they the type to leave when the going gets rough?
Understanding Compatibility: Are You Truly a Match?
For those entering the world of love for the first time, let’s talk about compatibility. And for those reentering the dating world after years, this applies to you too. The hardest part about love is often choosing the right person.
You see, love isn’t just about finding someone attractive or fun. It’s about finding someone who brings you peace, who shares your values, and who can be your best friend. Someone who, when you’re sitting in silence, there are no awkward gaps, no insecurities about whether you’re good enough. You know why? Because you both know you are.
And this generation—whether young or older—is still searching for love in all the wrong places. But too often, we’re looking for Mr. or Mrs. Right Now instead of Mr. or Mrs. Right. It’s crucial to distinguish the two. Mr. or Mrs. Right Now is temporary. Mr. or Mrs. Right is for the long haul.
Healing From the Past: Moving Forward After Loss
For those of you who have loved and lost, let’s address the healing process. You’ve been through hurt, betrayal, and disappointment. Maybe you’ve stayed in relationships longer than you should have, clinging to hope. Maybe you’ve tried to make something work that just wasn’t meant to be. But life is too short to live in misery.
It’s okay to let go. It’s okay to make hard decisions quickly, instead of dragging them out. When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time. Don’t hold on to something that was never meant to be. You deserve a love that lasts, but it all starts with you.
Ask yourself, Who Am I now? Why am I here? What do I really want? Ask yourself What is my deal breaker that I am just not willing to live with?
Once you know then you can make a wise decision. Remember Everything starts new from this moment on. Right now is all that matter. We can’t change what has happen, we can only create what will be from every decision we make moving forward. So choose wisely and create the life you truly want.
The Foundation of Love: Being Whole First
Finally, understand this: Love is not about completion, it’s about complementing. If you enter a relationship broken, expecting someone else to heal you, you will never experience the fullness of love. You have to find the greatness inside of yourself first, know that you are worthy, and stand firm in that.
Only then can you attract someone who is also whole, someone who complements you, rather than completes you. That’s how we build a love that lasts—a love where two whole people come together to create something even greater.
I leave you with this thought: Love is a choice, and it starts with the love you give yourself. As you embark on this journey, be intentional, be honest, and be open to the possibility that the love you seek is waiting for you, as soon as you become the person who is ready to receive it.
Trust me, I’ve been there and I had to do the hard work in Becoming whole again. Letting go of the past hurts and Disappointments. You can’t change it no matter how long you think about it. You are only making your proccess harder and longer. Understanding that no matter what happened you’re still enough and you are still worthy of love no matter what you did or how the other person feels or what they say about you.
As you are inside it will reflect and shine on the outside. So do the work, go back to find out who you were as a kid growing up? What influenced you of love and to think about the possibilities of tomorrow. The foundation of a new hope. A new day, a new life, a new love, and a new you. And when you let go, then and only then can you begin to receive something new. Understand we can’t change the past. No matter how much you think about it, let it go. The best is yet to come because now you know what not to do and how to move forward. Listen I Believe in you and I know with you believe in you and making the Effective changes in your life. I’ll see you on the other side of your desired reality. With or without someone, love yourself first Because you matter the most and you will always be with you. There’s no getting around that. So take care of yourself and do like my friend the great Neil Diamond said and “Turn on your HEARTLIGHT” and let it shine wherever you go.
https://youtu.be/mJuhxLYCPoM?si=tRQkiFQClbKPWpv9
Love Always
John Maurice